By Tammy Shaklee, Founder, He’s For Me
Houston men, if you have ever lived in West Texas (or Northwest Oklahoma), you know that spring is really known for one irritating and unavoidable thing. Wind.
Spring unleashes direct pole bending wind over the un-interrupted plains. And the damage is more than the meteorologist’s “skirt alert”. It has the force to slam any open car door and cut your shin to the bone. It coats your home’s interior with fine dirt and pollen forced in through every loosely sealed windowsill and doorway. It can even endanger high profile vehicles on the interstate. With every outdoor experience, you are constantly fighting gale force Mother Nature. And she can be a bitch. I’ve seen sky high and rolling dust storms turn day in to dusk, turn over a semi-truck, and close highways. But what do the high force winds do best? Really piss you off.
In the matchmaking industry, colleagues often discuss patterns, trends, and cyclical behaviors of singles and our business. And I venture to say, there’s something about March and the change of season. When we are supposed to gladly say goodbye to winter’s layered warm, and thankfully welcome new growth, blooms, the budding and sprouting, and a bright floral feast before the Houston heat rolls in.
But after Valentine’s Day, and around or before Easter, there seems to be a lot of emotion that has a single taking stock in, well, being a singleton. And whether it’s a subtle breeze, or a shit show of a dust storm blowing to simply piss you off, your heightened emotions are real. I respect the feelings of all of the men we talk with every day. Each of us is human, with a heart and soul, and have emotions that can sometimes get a little elevated. My goal in the unlimited dating coaching that we provide each of our matchmaking clients is to keep emotions in check, and calmly evaluate how best to steer your dating strategies through winds of change with hope and encouragement (and tools) for future success.
Dating isn’t easy for everyone. In fact, it’s hard as hell for a lot of super successful professionals. It’s introducing and melding the emotions of two humans. And timing is subjective but critical. Unfortunately, one bad day can ruin what was supposed to have been the ideal blind date.
Today, we had a bachelor ask to postpone the date because of a lack of sleep the night before, when his out of town accommodations didn’t meet his needs. We were glad to kindly explain and reschedule the date with our client. If you’re not feeling it, do the right thing. Set yourself up for success with a timely apology and a respectful proposal to reschedule. You want to bring your best on a first date. You’ve heard it time and time again, that you only have one chance to make a first impression. And I don’t have to tell you that gay men can be somewhat quick to judge or be critical, especially if their expectations are not met.
At times, we have clients go on “hold” simply because they aren’t feeling it. Maybe too much business travel brought on an extra five pounds. Or you’re deep in the process of buying a new house or condo. Or an aging parent just had a scare. And in Texas, maybe allergy season hits you like no other. If you are distracted and not ready to give your undivided attention to your future potential life partner on a first introduction, don’t make the mistake of blowing your one chance. Let us handle the details, and let you get things taken care of so you can return to quality introductions when your head, heart, and spirit are ready.
Our goal is to introduce you to your equal, a fellow eligible bachelor also serious about a long-term relationship. One who will be there to celebrate closing on your new house, to jointly take up a new exercise routine or try out a new hiking trail, and to comfort you when you will deal with aging parent issues. Everyone deserves their person, with which to experience life’s milestones.
With this new season, take charge of opportunity and optimism. Get ready to meet someone new. Ramp up your fitness routine, get a new shirt, shoes, or updated shorts. Get a fresh and updated haircut with a new stylist or product (which can take years off your look), and get just a little sun on the face. Vitamin D, baby. You are an eligible bachelor, and you can choose to work a bit harder in finding him.
I think the happiness we find, we make. – Dr. Helen Fisher
March is over; the winds have died down. Now get outside, men. It’s April. Own it!
For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay man, visit He’s For Me, offline, personal matchmaking designed exclusively for select gay men seeking a long-term relationship – at www.H4M.com and like us on the H4Mmatchmaking Facebook Page for daily inspiration on finding love. #loveislove